Category:

RECENT POSTS

Meditate

READ this post (12min):

What is meditation?

Many people think that meditation is about thinking about nothing, but it is not this at all. We cannot block thought and emotion. In-fact we need thought and emotion. Instead, meditation is simply the act of diverting your attention inward, in order to become more aware of, and familiarise yourself with the present moment.

Why is meditation important?

Today, we live in an incredibly busy world, where the pace of life is often frantic. It seems that we are always doing something, to the point where most of us are over-worked, over-loaded, and over-stimulated. The sad fact is that we have become so distracted in the world in which we live, that we miss out on the things that are the most important to us. In-fact, research shows that almost 50% of our life is lost in mindless thought – which directly contributes to unhappiness. What’s even crazier is that we assume that this is the way life is, and that we just have to get on with it.

In essence we have forgotten to be still, and the absence of stillness has led to increased stress and anxiety. In-fact, around 17 million Australians admit that stress is affecting both their physical and mental health.

But rather than distracting ourselves from stress, what we need most is to bring the very essence of who we are back into our lives – stillness. Just as the body needs rest, so too does the mind – especially when you consider that we have about 60,000 thoughts each day – 80% of which are negative and 95% are not original. Your mind becomes like a washing machine, whizzing around lots of difficult, confusing emotions, which we often don’t know how to deal with it.

Meditation enables you to slow down your mind enough to help you return to that place of stillness that exists between your thoughts. A place which is available to all of us in the present moment.

You cannot have happiness until you have inner peace. You cannot have inner peace until you live in the present. You cannot live in the present until you remember who you are. You cannot remember who you are until you go within and mediate. Robert Greco

Every time you connect to this place of stillness within, you become more conscious and aware of what is real and what is not in each moment. In this way, meditation acts as a doorway to who you really are. This is essential, because knowing yourself affects everything you think, say and do in life. Knowing yourself is the not only the key to both preventing and managing stress and anxiety, but is also the secret to lasting peace and happiness.

What are the different types of Meditation?

There are 3 main types/categories of meditation:

1.Focused Attention or concentration techniques (e.g. Zen, Qi gong, Vipassana) is where you focus on a single word, thought or object, excluding all others. It may be your breath, a word, a mantra, sound, a movement, pattern or an inner or external image. The purpose is simply to better develop your sense of concentration. That way, when thoughts or emotions arise, you are able to direct your mind back to the original object of concentration. This type of meditation requires effort to sustain controlled attention on an object, and is characterised by high frequency activity in the front and core of the brain.

2.Open Monitoring includes mindfulness-based techniques, in which all experiences are allowed to pass through awareness without manipulation or control, otherwise known as non-judgemental moment-to-moment awareness. The mind is generally being trained to return to the present moment by using an object, breath, or body as an anchor. This allows us to become aware of negative thought patterns, enabling us to make conscious choices rather than being mindlessly controlled by them, and preventing us from being led into habitual negative behaviours. These techniques also help us to embrace whatever our current experience is (including emotional or physical pain) rather than trying to escape or get into a struggle and thereby amplify it. This type of meditation is characterised by theta activity primarily in the front of the brain.

3.Automatic Self-Transcending (AST) involves neither concentration nor training the mind. ‘Automatic’ means innocence is the key here. Evaluation, control or manipulation will leave you caught up in thinking and prevent transcending. ‘AST’ includes Transcendental Meditation (TM), and the occasional expert in other techniques. It describes any technique which transcends (goes beyond) the steps of the meditation practice itself. Typically this includes resting your attention on a mellow, meaning-free one or two syllable mantra or sound in an effortless way that allows the mantra to gradually melt like a cough drop, leaving a state of inner silence. Whilst this may seem much like a focused attention practice, the method is actually more subtle and easy going than that.

Alpha brain waves (characteristic of reduced mental activity and relaxation) permeate the whole brain, which receives more oxygen. Increased blood flow occurs at the front of the brain (which is coordinating activity) while the core is more quiet, indicating alertness in the midst of deep rest, the state of transcendental or pure consciousness/silence.

Which type of Meditation is best?

Which type of meditation is best depends upon what you want to achieve and more importantly how ‘aware’ you are. As a recommendation, if you are a beginner to meditation, then I would suggest that you start with some basic concentration and mindfulness techniques. Then once you have been meditating for some time and made some progress in becoming more mindful, then I would encourage you to try TM.

Regardless of what type of meditation you choose, I would encourage you to complement your practice with yoga. This is important because many of the emotional and behavioural responses we experience occur because of previous stress which has become trapped inside of our body’s cells as distorted memories. And so no matter how much we mediate, we can only often get so far. However, by including the regular practice of yoga – both physical postures (asanas) and breathing techniques (pranayama), we can better respond to the actual demand being placed upon us in the present moment, rather than being forced into reactions pre-fabricated by our stress. In other words, full present moment awareness is actually the gift of a stress free nervous system, not just a present mind.

How do we meditate?

As suggested above, there are many different types of meditation, however one of the most simple and best places to start is to simply become aware of your breathe. Here’s how:

Sit comfortably on a chair with your back straight and unstrained in any way. Have your feet uncrossed and anchored on the floor. Place your hands on your lap in a palms up position, or whatever way you find comfortable. You can close your eyes or not – however you feel most at ease, but if your beginning with meditation, closing your eyes will help you to remain more focused.

Now just focus your attention on the feeling of your breathe coming in and going out.

Observe your breath as it goes in and out through your nostrils. Don’t try to change your breathe in any way, just observe it. As you do this you will find that it begins to slow down.

See if you can just feel one breathe, without concern for it has already gone by, without leaning forward for the very next breathe – just this one.

Now just tell yourself, let my mind become one with my breath, and continue to focus on one breathe at a time. Do this for a few minutes.

As you do this, you may have images, sounds, or emotions which arise as your mind begins to wander all over the place – what am I going to cook for dinner, did I pay the bills, etc. And that is fine – just try to stay connected to the feeling of the breath, as much as you can by just letting any thoughts flow on by. And if something comes along that is really strong and pulls you away from your breath, you might get lost in thought or even fall asleep, then don’t worry about it – just let it go.

The most important moment in the whole process is the next moment – after you have been distracted. That is the place that we practice letting go. It’s often referred to as exercising the letting go muscle. We practice letting go gently, of whatever has taken us away. And we bring our attention back to the breath to begin again.

The whole training is letting go and beginning again. You don’t have to feel like you have failed or done something wrong. It’s the conditioned habit of our attention to get distracted. So each time we discover that, we have this amazing opportunity to let go and to start over. It’s just one breathe.

Once you have done this for a few minutes, or when you feel ready, you can open your eyes or lift your gaze.

Once you get good at being aware of 1 breath, then begin to notice 2 and 3 and 4 breathes. If you can do this then you can meditate everywhere, anytime.

How long and how often should I meditate?

There are no rules on how often you should meditate, however 5-10 minutes per day is a good starting point. On top of having a structured practice, I would also suggest that you practice mindfulness as part of your everyday life, including things like mindful eating.

Remember that each time you meditate, you become more and more connected to the present and to who you really are. And so if you do this enough, then eventually, you will reach a point where you achieve full self-actualization/transcendence which is really the ultimate goal of all meditation. If and when this occurs, peace, clarity and stillness become your natural state of being, meaning that there is no longer any reason to meditate unless you want to of course.

Whilst bringing meditation into our daily life is not always easy to begin with, the rewards that follow far outweigh the sacrifice. By simply taking a few minutes out of your day to familiarising yourself with the present moment, you will become more in tune with who you are and with it, experience a greater sense of clarity, peace and wellbeing in your life.

So I’m curious to know, what are your experiences with meditation? Leave a comment below.

Rob

WATCH this post (16min):

LISTEN to this post (16min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 16:12 — 30.1MB)

April 7, 2018 2 comments

WHAT YOU CHEW RECENT POSTS

Eat Mindfully

READ this post (9min):

What is mindful/intuitive eating?

In order to understand what mindful eating is, we need first to understand what mindfulness is. Mindfulness simply involves deliberately paying attention, and being fully aware of what is happening both internally (mind, body and heart) and outside yourself (your environment). It is awareness without criticism or judgement.

Mindful eating simply involves paying full attention to the experience of eating, by connecting more deeply with, and enjoying your food, before, during and after your meal.

Mindful eating is a life skill we can all learn, which leads to a more satisfying, healthy and enjoyable relationship with food. Unlike food rules or diets, with mindful eating there is no right or wrong ways to eat, but instead varying degrees of consciousness about what we are eating and why. The goal of mindful eating then, is to base our meals on physical cues, such as our bodies’ hunger signals, instead of emotional ones (comfort eating).

Why is it so important to eat mindfully?

Mindful eating enables us to hear what our body is telling us about hunger and satisfaction. It helps us become aware of ‘who’ out of the mind, body and heart is really hungry, and how and what is best to nourish it.

This is important because the busyness of life today often keeps us in our head, instead of the present which equates to mindless eating. Mindless eating eventually becomes habitual, and can lead to food addiction which is the most prevalent type of addiction today. Addiction is simply the opposite of awareness.

How can we eat more mindfully?

There are lots of way to eat more mindfully. Here are a few of my favourite tips…

Remove all distractions – Life is full of distractions and it is not uncommon for families to eat whilst fiddling with their phones, having the TV blaring in the background, reading or anything else. Such distractions make it very difficult to eat mindfully, so make it a common practice to stay distraction free when you eat.

Give Thanks

It is important to begin each meal with a thanksgiving or prayer. It doesn’t matter whether you verbalise this out aloud or if you pause and reflect to yourself before eating. What is important is that you give thanks for your food, because through doing so, you become more mindful and appreciative of the food you are eating. For example, I don’t eat a lot of meat but if and when I do, I always pay respect to/honour and give thanks to the animal for giving up their life for me. It’s best to give thanks before your meal rather than after it.

Eat slower

Our eating habits are becoming increasingly fast paced just like our lives, with many of us often eating on the go. The problem with doing so is that it can be hard to notice what you are even eating, let alone truly savouring all the different sensations of eating it. Remember, it’s not a race – take the time to savour and enjoy your food. By doing so you are more likely to receive ‘stop-eating signals’ and notice when you are full. You’ll chew your food more, digest it more easily and find yourself noticing flavours you might otherwise have missed. If you have young children, make a game of who can chew their food the longest. Otherwise eating with chopsticks is another great way to slow things down (especially if you use them like me).

Eat in silence

Silence helps you to connect more deeply with what you are eating by anchoring you more in the present. Aim to eat at least some of your meals/snacks in silence, whether it’s at home, at work, outdoors or anywhere else. If you are too busy for a complete mindful meal, then even savour a few sips of tea in complete silence when possible.

Pay attention to your experience around eating

By paying attention to what you are experiencing around eating, you can make better choices. There are three things you should pay attention to, in order to eat more mindfully:

Pay attention to your food – Take a few breaths and a few seconds to look at your food before you commence eating. Smell its aroma, feel its texture, notice its colour and the temperature of the food. Then take a bite and really notice how each individual flavour tastes, the sounds it makes and the way it feels in your mouth. The idea is to enjoy every meal with all of your senses.

Pay attention to your body – As well as connecting to the food itself, it’s also equally important to pay attention to the experience of food in your body and how it makes you feel. When you feel hunger, observe how it feels and where you feel it. Do the same when you feel full. Is your body really hungry or is it simply your mind that is hungry/craving food? So often we mistake thirst for hunger because we are dehydrated. If you do feel physical hunger, observe what your body craves. Which food do you need? It takes practice to distinguish between what your body actually needs versus what your mental cravings are wanting. If you pay attention, your body will let you know what food/nutrients it needs, and what you should be eating less of. If your body is not consistently craving whole, natural and healthy foods, then you are not paying enough attention to it.

Pay attention to your mind – It’s also equally important to pay attention to your mind too. Without judgement, simply observe when your mind gets distracted from away from what you are eating. Watch for the impulses that arise when you begin to eat some food; the impulse to look at your phone, to count the calories, to obsess about food groups, to turn on the TV and so forth. Simply observe these impulses and continue eating. Notice how eating is affecting your mood and your emotions as well as how your emotions like anxiety influence the way you eat. Simply stay witness to the many sensations and thoughts that come up as you eat and then just let them go. Always gently return to the present moment. The more you do this, the more you become aware of how your thoughts may be influencing your food choices, enabling you to identify triggers and replace not so good choices with healthier ones. Eventually, you will begin to regain the sense of ease and freedom with eating that you had in childhood, which is how you should be eating.

Let innate intelligence guide you

Every day we are bombarded with messages of what we should and shouldn’t be eating. It could be from the latest medical research, celebrity hype, or any one of the thousands of diets and meal plans available. The problem being that none of this advice is unique to what your body needs. This is why you have an innate intelligence which knows exactly what ‘your body’ needs to be nourished. So before you listen to anyone else, access your innate intelligence by intuitively listening to and TRUSTING both what your body wants and needs from moment to moment. This can be challenging in the beginning if trusting your body is not something you are used to doing, out of fear that you will consume a family block of chocolate and 2 bottles of wine in one sitting. The more you do this, the healthier and more regulated you’re eating habits will become. Intuitive eaters eat when their body requires nutrition and stop eating when they are satisfied, even if that means leaving food on the plate.

Remember the process, not the event

On the occasions that you do have a doughnut, chocolate or wine, never let this turn into an excuse for blowing/ruining your entire food plan. This will happen, and when it does it is important that you don’t give these setbacks the power to dictate the rest of your evening or week. Instead, use it as a catalyst to reaffirm your commitment towards doing better tomorrow. Remember that every new meal is an opportunity to practice mindful eating once again and becoming more present. This is easy when you treat each moment as its own moment. This is a new moment, and what you ate an hour ago has nothing to do with whether or not you make a choice that feels good and healthy for you now.

Practice mindfulness and self-compassion

‘Mindful people eat mindfully, Mindless people eat mindlessly.’

Put simply, if you are not a mindful person, then you will always struggle to have a healthy relationship with food. This is true regardless of how well you ‘try’ to do all of these other tips. I say this because mindful eating is often portrayed as a simple trick to reduce food intake, when in actual fact it is something much deeper. It is a spiritual practice which requires you to anchor yourself in the present moment regardless of what you think your body wants, what you’re feeling, what type of food is available to you, what your emotional reflexes around food are, what you learned about food as a kid or anything else.

This can be difficult, which is why it’s often said that it’s easier to kick a heroin habit than a food habit. There will be many occasions when you will make unhealthy choices, and so when this happens it is important not to be self-critical, but rather realise that real change takes time and is built on many smaller changes. Beating yourself up won’t do you any favours, so be kind and give yourself some credit for wanting to make positive changes in your life. If you are like most people, then it may take you months or even years to master mindful eating. You need to invest a large amount of time, energy and resolve to fundamentally change your entire relationship with food, and even more notably, with yourself. You can do this by practising mindfulness which you can learn more about in my next post.

Final Thoughts

Whilst old habits of eating and not paying attention are not easy to change, once you get the hang of eating mindfully, you won’t even have to think about it; instead it will just occur naturally. Until then, you will need to be mindful of being mindful. Mindful eating really does have the power to change your life and your mental and physical health in every way so ensure to stick with it. Remember to listen, trust, be kind to and give your body whatever it needs. The more you can do this, the more successful you will be.

If you have an eating disorder or addiction, whilst mindful eating is an essential part of any therapy, it is important to always seek professional advice. The best place to start is with your GP.

Q.Are you a mindful eater, and if so what helps you eat more mindfully?

WATCH this post (12min):

LISTEN to this post (12min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:58 — 22.3MB)

March 23, 2018 0 comment

Put Yourself First

READ this post (7min):

What does putting yourself first really mean?

Putting yourself first has nothing to do with being selfish. Instead, it is about living your life in a way which enables you to achieve and maintain balance and well-being.

Many of us are really bad at putting ourselves first

Every day in every way, I see examples of people not putting themselves first – and mum’s are especially like this, because of their nurturing and caring role for the family.

Why is it important to put yourself first?

By putting yourself first, it is possible to achieve and maintain balance and well-being in your life. If you don’t put yourself first, you will put others ahead of you, and this will detract from your own balance.

How can you put yourself (including your health and well-being) first?

There are lots of ways to put yourself first, but here are a few of my top tips:

*Realize that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s – Many of us regularly put other people’s needs ahead of our own, believing that their needs are more important. We often do this because we all want to be liked and even loved by others. This is especially the case if you have low self-worth, and so if you can relate to this, then you need to work on accepting and loving yourself more fully. This includes practising self-compassion. Essentially you need to believe that your health and well-being are worth fighting for – and they are! This is so important to acknowledge because it’s only once you can do this that you can give yourself permission to put yourself first. And it’s only once you do that, that you are able to be the best version of yourself.

*Set up your Non-Negotiable’s – Most of us live busy lives these days and that’s ok, just as long as you don’t let ‘busyness’ become an excuse for not putting yourself first. A great way to do this is to create some non-negotiable’s. These are things which you must do (your top priorities) regardless of what else is going on in your day. For example, some of my daily non-negotiable’s include; 1hr of exercise, 2hrs for cooking and enjoying a meal, 8 hours sleep time, 1.5hrs undivided attention with my kids, 1/2hr relax and unwind time. And in the hours I have left in-between these activities, I then do what I need to do and that’s often a lot. In-fact, I live a crazy busy life, but the difference is that my busyness is rooted in being/well-being, instead of doing/ill-being – and this makes all of the difference.

If you’re not sure what your non-negotiable’s should be, start with all of the attributes of what you chew and do, because they are all essential to living a more balanced life. Once you figure these out, then literally block out time on your calendar to do them. Possibly use one colour for work/available time and another colour for your non-negotiable/unavailable time. Then ensure that you stick to it. On the odd occasion where this slides, instead of getting angry at yourself, just look at what you can do next time to better protect your non-negotiable time.

I also strongly suggest you become a morning person if you are not already one – this is often the best time to get things done when you are busy.

*Get really good at saying ‘No’

‘Being busy is different to being over-committed which is what happens when you cannot say no.’

If there is one trait that all really successful people have in common, it’s that they are all good at saying ‘no.’ This is because they understand that time is a finite resource, meaning you really only have so much of it. It’s important to understand that every time you say ‘yes’ to something, you are effectively say ‘no’ to something else. For example, when you say yes to working overtime, then you may be saying no to cooking dinner, no to going to the gym, no to spending time with your kids, or anything else. In other words everything is a trade-off, and it’s ok to do this, just as long as your life is in balance. If not, then you need to get really good at saying no, which in the beginning, can be much more difficult than saying yes. This is because whilst trying not to care what other people think of us, we all want to be liked. And by saying no we think we are being selfish, but even worse, other people might think that we are being selfish.

So how do we get good at saying no? First you must have a go-to-response when people ask you for favours. Something simple like, “That doesn’t work for me at this time”—is sufficient. Saying no is also much easier to do when you reconnect with and are clear about your priorities – otherwise your reasons for saying no seem unimportant, and it’s easier just to say yes. It’s also important to tell the truth too – untrue excuses lead to further entanglements and greater stress. Lying sends your unconscious the message that there’s something wrong with saying no – which is untrue. Once you have made your decision then stick to it, instead of letting yourself being talked out of it. Do this by focusing on the good things that will come from saying no, and not the regret or guilt you might feel from saying yes when you really didn’t want to.

*Outsource – Outsourcing small portions of your life allows you to save time and spend it elsewhere – including on yourself. If you are over-committed and find it hard to get everything done, then sometimes it’s a good idea to hire some external help. This could include things like washing, ironing, cleaning, admin work, odd handyman jobs, or anything else. Websites such as airtasker have made this process easier and more affordable than ever before. Outsource everything that will lighten your load, simplify your life, and put yourself first without feeling bad about it.

*Listen to how you feel – Try to become more mindful of how you feel- both mentally and physically. Are you hydrated? Are you stressed? Are you tired? Are your muscles tight? Are you low on energy? By becoming more aware of how you feel, you can better monitor whether or not you are in balance. If you are not in balance, then you need to put yourself first, and less energy into everything else.

*Don’t wait forever to put yourself first – Many of us seem to be waiting for a clearing period in our life or that ‘one day’ where we will have the time, money and focus to put ourselves, including our well-being first. I know this because I coach people all of the time who eventually come and see me after a lifetime of always putting their well-being last. Often they are in such terrible shape – both physically and mentally, that it’s difficult to undo the many years of neglect.

If you were good at creating a clearing in your life, you would have had one by now. When was the last time you actually arrived at the perfect time and place, with all of the time, money and focus you needed? It’s a fairytale! Begin it now rather than waiting for all the lights to turn green.

Putting yourself first is essential when it comes to living a more balanced, and therefore a happier, healthier, fitter life. If you are not putting yourself first, then you are not living true – both to yourself and to the ones whom you love the most. Whilst putting yourself first may be difficult in the beginning, it quickly gets easier as you begin to realise just how much better your feel and function. So much so that you will begin to get annoyed at yourself when you haven’t put yourself first, at which point it will become habitual and part of your everyday lifestyle.

Q.Is your life in balance and if not, then when and how will you start putting yourself first?

Rob

WATCH this post (10min):

LISTEN to this post (10min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:29 — 17.7MB)

March 10, 2018 2 comments

Spend Time Outdoors

READ this post (6min):

How much time are we spending outdoors?

Compared to 20 years ago, adults are spending 30% less time outdoors, whilst children are spending 50% less time outdoors. This is ridiculous – prisoners spend more time outdoors! And it’s a trend which is getting worse.

Why are we spending less time outdoors?

There are many reasons why we are spending less time outdoors – getting lost in the world of social media and technology is one of the major ones. In-fact, we are spending an average of five hours daily on screen time/our mobile devices and an average of 50 minutes on applications such as Facebook alone. Pay TV only adds to our time spent indoors.

Many of the children born in the past 20 years have been connected to a computer before a field of grass, which has resulted in a generation with minimal appreciation for the outdoors and for movement in general. Many choose to be indoors even when they have the opportunity to be outside. Luckily, I grew up in a natural setting of which I am extremely grateful for, as I strongly believe that these early experiences have prevented me from getting sucked into the lure of the technological world.

An ever increasing population has also meant that our land sizes are decreasing and our backyards are shrinking.

Most of us also work longer hours, and spend more time commuting to and from work as congestion increases.

Fear of crime and increasing skin cancer rates have also had negative impacts on the amount of time we spend outdoors.

What happens when we don’t spend enough time outdoors?

Not spending enough time outdoors can result in;

Physical Consequences…

*Increased inflammation – resulting in autoimmune disorders, inflammatory bowel disease, depression, and cancer.

*Vitamin D deficiency – leading to things like osteoporosis, weakened immunity against bacteria/viruses, and obesity, etc. Every second person living in South Australia, NSW, Victoria and Tasmania are deficient in Vitamin D.

*Causes Poor Sleep/Insomnia – not spending enough time outdoors affects your internal clock/circadian rhythm and affects your melatonin levels– a hormone which helps you sleep.

*Delays recovery from injury/increases pain – Research shows that limited exposure to nature increases pain, illness and delays recovery time from both major surgery and minor health problems.

*Is bad for your lungs: Indoor air is 75% higher in pollutants, as well as positive ions (oxygen molecules with an extra electron) which have been linked to decreased sense of well-being, decreased alertness, increased anxiety and a higher resting heart rate.

*Decreases your immune system – For example: a lack of exposure to dirt increases your risk of developing type 2 diabetes.

*Poor Vision – a lack of outdoor exposure is creating a myopia epidemic – so much so that by the year 2050, the amount of people who are short sighted will grow from 4 million to 22 million.

*Exposes you to relentless noise pollution – which has been linked to higher blood pressure, stress, and even a heart attack.

*Shortens your life – people who spend less time outdoors have been shown to have poor overall health and longevity than those who do.

Mental Consequences…

*Increased stress and anxiety – by increasing levels of cortisol — a hormone often used as a marker for stress. The less time you spend in nature, the more time you spend in your head, and this results in increased stress and anxiety.

*Increases mental fatigue – less time in nature means less restorative time for your brain, resulting in decreased problem-solving skills, less creativity/imagination, weakened cognition, short-term memory loss, selective attention, decreased ability to multitask, and a decreased ability to concentrate or focus your attention on one task, which is linked to things like ADHD.

*Decreases your self-esteem and mood – not spending enough time in nature increases activity in a key region of the brain associated with depression.

Spend more time outdoors…

Whilst this may all sound bad, the good news is that all of these things can be easily avoided by making more time to be outdoors. We should all be aiming to spend an absolute minimum of a 1/2 to 1 hour outdoors each day. Some ways to do this include;

*Spend your lunch breaks outdoors rather than in the office or café.

*Instead of meeting with friends at a restaurant, meet in a park or beach instead.

*Take a daily walk after a meal either on your own or with a loved one.

*Take your children to a park instead of an indoor play centre!

*Read your favourite book outside instead of in.

*Consider getting a pet if you don’t already have one – as long as you are willing to spend outdoor time with it!

*Leave your car at home and walk wherever you can – to the shops, train station, etc.

*Play sport instead of watching it – either competitively or for fun/back yard cricket, etc.

*Buy kids toys which encourage active outdoors play time, as opposed to screen time.

*Get into your garden – it’s a great way to get connected to the earth.

*Implement a family hike day where you regularly explore new trails.

*Book holidays which involve the outdoors like camping/caravanning, bushwalking, swimming at the beach, etc.

*Exercise outdoors as much as possible rather than in a gym or your home.

*On sunny days, hang clothes outside instead of using the dryer.

*Restrict use/consumption of technology including TV, computers, tablets, phones, and other devices.

*Implement a ‘Tech Box’ where all technology is put into and not taken out until family time is spent outdoors.

*Try to have an office with a window to the outdoors.

*Bring the outdoors ‘indoors’ by putting plants in your home and office, and keeping doors to the outside open when possible.

*Create a beautiful outdoor space – you are more likely to spend time there if it is uplifting.

*Build an outdoor kitchen/BBQ and cook outdoors often.

*If you don’t have an outdoor job, then try to work outdoors as much as possible. This is easy if you have a laptop and can work from home.

As you increase your time outdoors, just remember to stay sun smart and stay hydrated. It is safe to go outside without sun protection early morning and late afternoon when the UV Index falls below 3.

The take home message…

We were never designed to live indoors, and that’s because nature is an inherent part of who we are. This is something that indigenous people from all parts of the world know. Spending time outdoors, and in nature, has the ability to transform and heal every aspect of our lives. Intuitively, we know this, which is why so many of us choose holiday destinations on the coast, in the hills or anywhere we can retreat to nature.

So what are you waiting for… start reaping the health benefits of being in nature and the great outdoors.

Q.What are some ways you spend your time outdoors?

Rob

WATCH this post (10min):

LISTEN to this post (10min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:38 — 18.0MB)

February 23, 2018 2 comments

WHAT YOU CHEW RECENT POSTS

Eat Vegetables

READ this post (10min):

Q.What’s the one thing that every successful diet in the world has in common? They all contain vegetables, and for good reason too…

Why is eating vegetables so important?

Vegetables contain essential vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, digestive enzymes and microbes, fibre and other nutrients. Any and all of these reduce acidity in the body and chronic inflammation, aiding vital nutrient absorption, stabilising blood sugar levels, keeping bowel movement regular and removing toxic waste, decreasing bad/increasing good cholesterol, decreasing blood pressure, feeding your healthy gut bacteria/microbiome and so on. Vegetables are also important because 80% of Australians are suffering from dehydration on a daily basis. And a big reason why this is the case is because we are eating more processed foods and less veggies than ever before, which also equates to less water in the diet. Veggies help to keep you hydrated and functioning at your best.

Veggies are also the key to losing excess weight, which is something most of us need. Veggies are low in energy and some even contain negative calories. You could eat 40 zucchinis a day and still lose weight. If you’re not eating enough veggies, you’re not supporting your weight loss goals.

We are eating less vegetables than ever before:

Despite the importance of eating veggies, 93% of Australians are not reaching the recommended daily intake of vegetables. That’s virtually the whole of Australia!

The main reason for this is because most of us live very busy lives, and as such we often reach for foods which are quick to prepare, including processed foods, pre-prepared meals and meat – especially chicken. Also, vegetables have become increasingly expensive. Whatever the reasons, it is a real concern, and we should all be trying harder to eat more veggies.

How many vegetables should you be eating?

Australian guidelines recommend that we eat 2 to 3 cups (5 to 6 serves) of vegetables per day. If you’re already eating veggies that’s great, but if not, then it may take some time to increase your veggie intake. Just start with one cup and increase from there. At the end of the day, you can’t eat ‘too many’ veggies, as long as you’re eating a healthy, balanced diet.

What is the healthiest way to prepare veggies?

The three natural destroyers of vitamins in vegetables are heat, light, and oxygen. However, some cooking some methods can help retain nutrients. As a general rule, it’s best to keep cooking time, temperature and the amount of liquid to a minimum. That’s why steaming is one of the best ways to cook most vegetables. Steam vegetables briefly until slightly tender. For example, asparagus and broccoli should retain their bright green colour. Click here for a full guide for optimum steaming times of veggies.

Boiling vegetables causes water soluble vitamins like vitamin C, B1 and folate to leach into the water, so unless you are planning on drinking the water, or using it in soups or stews like a stock, then avoid this method. Vegetables like peas, cauliflower and zucchini tend to be particularly susceptible to nutrient loss through boiling, losing more than 50% of their antioxidants.

Cooking veggies whole is often the best choice to preserve nutrients. When that’s not practical, be sure to cut them into large uniform pieces that will cook evenly. And only wash your vegetables just before you cut them as washing before storing may promote bacterial growth and speed up spoilage.

Sautéing in a bit of healthy cooking oil, such as extra-virgin olive oil, is also a great way to cook many vegetables. Not only does it maximize flavour, but the addition of olive oil “appears to increase the absorption of phytonutrients like phenols and carotenes,” That’s because many of the vitamins and nutrients in vegetables are fat soluble, meaning your body absorbs them better in the presence of fat.

However with that said, eating raw instead of cooked vegetables, means you’ll get more of vitamins A and C. These vitamins are heat-sensitive, meaning high temperatures and longer cooking times degrade or destroy them.

So, as you can see, there are numerous ways to prepare veggies to maintain their nutrient content. Eat plenty of vegetables of every colour, and either cook them in different ways, or enjoy them raw.

How to store vegetables:

Nutrients in vegetables start to break down after harvest. Proper storage helps to minimize the loss of nutrients and increase shelf life. Here are some tips for storing your veggies:

*To reduce shrivelling or wilting due to water loss, keep leafy and root vegetables, such as silverbeet, broccoli, carrots and parsnips, in perforated plastic bags, preferably in the refrigerator.

*By removing leafy tops from carrots, parsnips, turnips and beetroot, their storage life can be extended many weeks or even several months in the refrigerator.

*Keep potatoes in a cool, dark, well ventilated place to avoid greening and sprouting. Remove from plastic bags and place in a strong paper bag, box or in a wire or plastic bin.

*Sweet potatoes should not be kept in the fridge as they are cold sensitive.

*To reduce mould growth on onions, whole pumpkin, marrows and squashes, store at room temperature under dry conditions, in a net or loose.

*Limit storage time. Fresh is best when it comes to taste and nutrition. If you want to store produce items for a longer time, consider freezing them.

*It is best not to wash vegetables until you are ready to consume them to reduce spoilage and mould growth.

*Don’t slice vegetables until you are ready to use them. When a vegetable is sliced, it exposes the cut surfaces to heat, light, and oxygen — the nutrient destroyers.

*If you grow your own, it’s best to pick veggies just before you need to use them.

Ways to eat more veggies:

*Add lots of veggies to pasta dishes – instead of serving just pasta, serve an equal portion of veggies with the pasta and then pour your sauce on top.

*Add veggies into your favourite pasta sauces or anything else. Often, adding just a few cups doesn’t change the flavour enough to notice. You can add things like wilted spinach or zucchini to almost anything.

*Try to make pasta out of veggies like zucchini, and pizza bases out of cauliflower.
*Roast off assorted veggies with your favourite spices like rosemary, thyme or anything else.

*Make frittata/omelettes – you can use precooked/leftover veggies.

*Make pasties, pies and sausage rolls – you can use leftovers/precooked veggies.

*Make a béchamel sauce, place on top of it some steamed broccoli or cauliflower and top with grated cheese. Bake in the oven for a delicious side dish.

*Add loads of veggies to your favourite stir-fry recipes.

*Chargrill veggies and add olive oil, garlic, and spices.

*Steam or boil veggies and add your favourite sauce. E.g. Steamed Bok Choy with Oyster sauce.

*Make different casseroles or stews and load them with veggies.

*Make smoothies packed with veggies and disguise the flavour with fruit if you don’t like the taste of just veggies. As a rule, use a ratio of 4 veggies to 1 fruit to avoid too much sugar. Juice vegetables whole to maximise the fibre and roughage content.

*Use supplements or powders like spirulina or wheatgrass which can be added to smoothies or meals to boost the nutrient content. These are also a great alternative when you do not have access to veggies/travelling/etc.

*Cut veggie sticks like celery, carrots, cucumber, capsicum, zucchini, mushroom and serve with your favourite vegetarian dips like hummus or tzatziki.

*Make soups – this is literally as simple as blending your favourite vegetable combinations.

*Make salads (especially in the warmer months). The key here is to get creative instead of just boring old iceberg lettuce.

*Ferment and Pickle Veggies – not only are they delicious, but also great for your gut health too.

Other tips regarding veggies:

*There are many different ways to prepare the same vegetable, depending upon what culture you are from. Try taking your favourite vegetables and preparing them in a completely different way. Even using different herbs and spices can completely change the flavour.

*Aim to consume vegetables as soon as possible to maximise nutrient content. This means that you should shop for veggies twice per week.

*Try to eat organic vegetables, local produce or grow your own. Avoid genetically modified vegetables where possible – it is unknown whether they are safe.

*Eat what veggies are in season as they are often fresher, cheaper and healthier.

*Whilst fresh vegetables are best, snap frozen vegetables are a great substitute if used occasionally.

*Think outside of the square – there are literally thousands of different types of vegetables available. Try something new instead of always eating the same vegetables.

*Whilst all vegetables are nutritious, the five ‘super veggies’ that I highly recommend are purple sweet potatoes, beetroot, kale, broccoli and onions.

*It is a good idea to consult your GP, nutritionist or dietician when modifying your diet.

Q.Are you eating enough veggies? If so, how do you prepare and eat them?

Rob

WATCH this post (12min):

LISTEN to this post (12min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:13 — 17.2MB)

February 9, 2018 0 comment

Take responsibility for yourself

READ this post (6min):

What does taking responsibility for yourself really mean?

Taking responsibility for yourself means being accountable for everything which is within your power or control. It’s about doing the things you are expected to do and owning the negative or positive outcomes of your thoughts and actions. This includes self-respect, that you respect yourself enough, and that you are truthful with yourself. And most importantly, it’s about realizing that you always have a choice; knowing that different decisions will lead you to different outcomes.

Why is it important to take responsibility for yourself?

Research tells us that out of anything, the biggest determinant of success in life is having strong ‘self-control.’ Taking responsibility for yourself is important because if you don’t, then any problems you may have remain outside of yourself, and with that out of your own control. You are literally giving away your personal power to external forces, rendering you powerless towards positive change.

This is better known as having a ‘victim’ mentality. Victims often have the outlook that life is not up to them but rather that it is just happens ‘around’ or ‘to’ them. They tend to go around in circles doing the same things again even if it doesn’t work. They often complain and blame anyone or anything else other than themselves for their dissatisfaction of life. This could include the economy, the weather, an injury, a past relationship, their parents, their age or anything else in their environment. After all, it’s much easier to play the blame game, than to take responsibility for their own success. This often becomes a habit for most, and so they continue to sit around feeling sorry for themselves and waiting for their life to change instead of engaging in it which is a real waste. And then before they know it, life ends up passing them by.

In contrast, when you take responsibility for yourself, then change not only becomes possible, but inevitable. That’s because when you stand in your own power, you naturally become empowered towards positive change. And with this, new solutions and opportunities begin to arise. In-fact, the moment you accept responsibility for yourself is the same moment you gain the power to change anything in your life.

Sure, sometimes life hands us a lemon, but we can either choose to be bitter about it or choose to ‘make lemonade.’ By make lemonade, I mean that we have to make the most of the situation; we have to find the best way out, the opportunity and the solution in there, as there is always something we can do. And whilst we definitely can’t control everything in life, we can control the way we respond, and this is the key. It is only by taking responsibility for our self, that we can begin to consciously co-create the life that we want, instead of the one that we don’t.

Taking responsibility helps you to attract what you want

When you take responsibility for yourself, then you begin to focus on the things you want and need to do. And once you do, then a remarkable thing starts to happen – you begin to attract more of the things you want and less of the things you don’t. This is the opposite to those who have a victim mentality, who are unconsciously creating what they do not want. This is why it is also important to trust and believe in the magic of life – because the world will provide for you what you want or need, but only once you take responsibility for and begin working towards it.

In saying that, you can’t just sit around and expect things to come to you or for your life to change. Nothing else, or no-one else can make you happy, healthy and fit; you have to do it yourself! Sure let others help you, but at the end of the day the buck stops with you. No one is going to save you – not even God. Instead, you need to take 100% responsibility and initiative for yourself. Stop blaming your circumstances and outside influences on what you are able to change. Remember, if you want results then you can’t have excuses. When you come to a point of awareness you cannot ignore this – with knowledge comes responsibility. The universe is giving you an opportunity to grow. If you know better, then you must rise to the challenge and be better. Taking responsibility for yourself is a very liberating way to live your life, because suddenly you are in control of it – and that is so powerful.

When not to take responsibility

Whilst we can control many things, we cannot control everything. Doing so can make us too self-critical and affect both our self-worth and our self-efficacy. So please, don’t take responsibility for anything out of your control. This includes most things which are outside of yourself. Something that many of us often take responsibility for when we shouldn’t is other people. And it can be hard not too, especially when they are people whom we really love and care about.

I say this because most of us struggle to find the time and energy to manage our own life, let alone being responsible for and worrying about other people’s lives too. Instead, give yourself permission to detach and let others own their own life. By doing so, you will free yourself up to live your own life without feeling drained all of the time.

Obviously the exception to this is if you are a carer for someone who has special needs, is unwell, or if you have younger kids, who are dependent upon your love, support and guidance to thrive and even survive. However this also comes with a cautionary warning too – don’t shelter or try to rescue your kids too much otherwise they will grow up with very little resilience, which is what we are facing a generation off today. Instead give them some responsibility, let them learn and grow from their mistakes and then give them a little more. All you can do is teach them to be responsible for themselves, and then they have to walk and own their own path in life. As they do, they will learn their own lessons because experience is the greatest teacher.

Many people try to avoid responsibility for their bad behaviours by blaming others for causing it. It’s probably a good idea to stay away from people who can’t take responsibility for their own actions. You cannot accept blame or try to fix things for them when you’ve done nothing wrong. They need to learn that if they want different outcomes they will have to make different choices. Eventually they will run out of things or people to blame at which point they will only be able to blame themselves.

It’s all up to you

Remember you cannot blame anything or anyone else for where you are at in life right now. Through your own choices, you are responsible – no-one else. Simply accept and learn from your mistakes and move on with your life. Whilst everything that has happened to you up until now has influenced who you are today, you are responsible for who you will become tomorrow. So whatever it is you want to do – lose weight, become healthier, do your dream job, build wealth, travel, meet a partner, it all starts with taking responsibility for yourself. Each day is a new opportunity to create this for yourself. You can have a victim mentality or a victorious mentality – it’s your choice, but I know which one I choose. As long as you are always trying to better yourself then you can’t go wrong.

What do you need to take responsibility in your life for today, that will help you live a happier, healthier, fitter tomorrow?

Rob

WATCH this post (9min):

LISTEN to this post (9min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:23 — 13.3MB)

January 25, 2018 6 comments

Set Goals

READ this post (6min):

Why is it important to have goals?

If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail – Benjamin Franklin

Research clearly shows that people who make consistent progress toward meaningful goals live happier, more satisfied lives than those who don’t. And this is largely because having goals allows you to steer your life in the direction you choose. Sure, you may already be setting and working towards certain goals, such as getting a job promotion or saving for a holiday. But are you setting goals for ‘all’ of the other areas in your life which are important to you?

I say this because so often, I coach people who have gotten to their 40s, 50s, and 60s, only to find that their health is failing, their marriage is broken, their doing a job that they are not passionate about, or sometimes all three. Or it could be any other less than desirable state that they look up and find themselves in, one which is far away from where they thought they would be at this point in their lives.

This is because they have gotten caught in the drift of life – where life has taken them along for the ride, instead of them dictating where they wanted their life to go. Sure, we can’t control everything that happens in life, but we can work towards a future we want to create.

If you can relate to any of this then the first thing to do is to acknowledge where you are at today/your current reality. Are you where you should or want to be in any area of your life –relationships, health, finances or anything else? If not, then don’t beat yourself up – that’s fine. You simply need to acknowledge where you are at, to get to where you want to go. Remember it’s never too late to get back on track – regardless of how far you have drifted off course.

Next you need to decide what you want to create for yourself. This is where you need to let yourself dream a little. What do you want your health to look like? What kind of relationships do you want to enjoy? What kind of work do you want to do? And anything else. Write it down.

Once you have decided where you want to be, then you can start working towards steering yourself in the direction you want to go. And you do this by setting some goals and working towards them.

Here are some important tips towards setting goals;

Set SMART goals – which is an acronym for meeting the following criteria:

Specific—your goals must identify exactly what you want to accomplish, with as much specificity as possible.

Bad: Get healthy.
Good: Start exercising and stop smoking.

Measurable—you can’t manage what you can’t measure, so ensure that your goal is quantifiable.

Bad: Take up running.
Good: Do a 5km fun run.

Actionable—every goal should start with an action verb (finish/quit/run/etc.) rather than a to-be verb (be/have/am/etc.).

Bad: Be more consistent with eating veggies.
Good: Eat 2 cups of veggies every day.

Realistic—Set goals which will push you out of your comfort zone, but at the same time are not unachievable.

Bad: Cycle in the ‘Le Tour De France.’
Good: Participate in ‘Cycle Around the Bay.’

Time-Framed—A goal without a date is just a dream. Make sure that every goal ends with a by when date.

Bad: Lose 10 kg.
Good: Lose 10 kg by June 30.

An example of a goal with all of the SMART criteria would include;

I will walk for 30 minutes, 5 days every week, by the 15^th of January.

Set some goals around health: The first place you should start to set some goals around is your health – because without it nothing else matters. The best goals to set around health, are all of the attributes which I talk about in the 3 keys; if you are not doing some or all of these things, then you already have some essential goals to work towards (well until they become lifestyle habits anyway).

Write down and keep your goals in clear view: When you write something down, you are stating your intention and setting things in motion. Also ensure to keep your goals in clear view. Some ways you can do this is to save your goals as your screen saver, stick them on your fridge, your desk or any other place you frequent daily.

Review goals frequently: Ensure to review your goals daily, weekly, or monthly. This will keep you inspired and ensure you remain on track towards achieving your goals. If you find that are not achieving your goals, then work out why. It could be as simple as changing your strategy. Or sometimes it’s because we have conflicting values which take us further away rather than closer to our goals. For example, if your goal is to lose weight but you enjoy a glass of wine most nights of the week, then you need to decide on what you want more.

Don’t have too many goals: Productivity studies show that we really can’t focus on more than 5 to 7 items at one time. Any more and you will find yourself spread too thin, doing many things and excelling in none. Trust me, I have been a master of this in the past, and you won’t really accomplish anything. So just focus on a few goals which you most want to accomplish right now.

So remember, whilst most of us have dreams, these dreams don’t just happen – you have to have some kind of intentionality and goals in place to make it happen. But more than that, you need to work towards your goals – and I say that because a lot of people live in the “dream of, would of, could of, should of”, but never do what’s actually required to achieve them. And it’s these same people who continue to get caught in the drift of life. But by regularly setting and working towards your goals, you can take control of, and steer your life in any direction you choose. Everyday becomes an opportunity to move toward your destination.

Do you set goals and what works for you?

Rob

WATCH this post (9min):

LISTEN to this post (9min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:36 — 12.2MB)

January 12, 2018 0 comment

WHAT YOU CHEW RECENT POSTS

Plan and Prepare Meals in Advance

READ this post (6min):

Given the busyness of life today, many of us struggle to find the time let alone the energy, to prepare and eat a healthy meal three times a day, every day of the week. And you know what, I don’t blame you – especially if you have a family to cook for too.

However, by pre-paring meals in advance (meal prepping) we can avoid this constant struggle, and eat healthier meals more consistently. Here are a few tips to help get you started…

Make a plan of what you want to eat – Make a list of your favourite foods, then find recipes which are not only simple, but which can be made quickly or in bulk. You will also need to decide on what you are going to eat for snacks between meals. Simply write down 7 healthy breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack ideas right now, and you already have your first week done. Then do the same thing again for next week. Once you have a few weekly menus worked out, then you can rotate them to keep things interesting.

Know what you need to buy – Once you have worked out what you want to eat, then write or even type out all of the ingredients into a shopping list which you can re-use each week. This way, you won’t waste time doing multiple trips to the supermarket each week. It will also mean that you are less likely to buy things which you don’t really need – including junk foods! This not only means you won’t have to use your willpower to avoid eating junk when it’s in your pantry, but it also cuts down on waste.

Dedicate specific time towards meal prep – Ensure to dedicate specific time to prepare some of your meals ahead of time. This could be one evening during the week, a Sunday afternoon, or whatever time works for you. You can do this weekly, fortnightly or even monthly. I like to do a combination of all of these.

Use your freezer – The best thing about using the freezer is that you can often cook in larger quantities and less frequently too. We do this with soups, casseroles (e.g. apricot chicken) and bolognaise sauce (which we serve with pasta or make lasagne). Prep wise: chop up ingredients that are suitable for freezing into appropriate portion sizes and freeze until required. We buy fresh seafood (Australian salmon, calamari, prawns and fish), chop it up, mix and portion it out into bags for marinara mix which we use for pasta, pizza, risotto, paella and on the BBQ. We have a whole second freezer dedicated towards meal prepped foods.

Meal prep what is in season – Eating what’s in season is not only better for you, but it’s often cheaper too. For example, we like to chargrill and pickle capsicums and eggplants – if we do this in bulk when they are in season it costs us about $30 for 10kg. Out of season the same amount would cost us up to $130. Also if you grow your own and have lots of produce ready all at once, then this is great opportunity to meal prep for future use and reduce waste.

Use left-overs for lunch – Where possible, cook extra for dinner and use left-overs for lunch the next day. This eliminates the need to worry about what to have for lunch most days of the week which is a huge time saver. Or if you prefer, instead of having dinner left overs for lunch, you can also use them to prepare a different meal the next day. For example, the day after having a roast, we either use the left over veggies to make pasties the next night, or the chicken in fried rice. The ideas are endless.

Jump on the juicing bandwagon – If you’re short on eating fruit and veggies, then juicing may be for you. The secret here is to juice more veggies as opposed to just fruit, which can be high in sugar. If you are trying to lose weight then substituting one meal for a juice is fine, otherwise use juicing as a healthy snack. Plan out what combos you like and prepare the fruit and veggies in advance so all you have to do is blitz it. You can get an excellent blender these days for less than $200 that will turn just about anything into juice.

Food prep for your gut too – We all know the importance of maintaining gut health when it comes to being healthy, so ensure that you prepare meals that feed your gut too. Fermented foods are best for this. Our staples are Kefir (2min prep time for next day supply) and Kombucha (15min prep time for 2 week supply), but it doesn’t matter what you choose – yoghurt, sauerkraut, or anything else, as long as you’re maintaining healthy gut bacteria.

Keep snacks simple – When thinking snacks, choose things that are simple, easy to prepare, and nutritious. Fresh fruit, a shake, hard-boiled eggs, a tub of yoghurt and pre-cut veggies with prepared hummus are all great choices.

Look for shortcuts – If you’re really pressed for time, then look for shortcuts such as buying pre-cut veggies and fruits, or pre-cooked meats like roast chicken. Canned foods are quick too, such as tuna or beans, which can be used to make lots of things.

Have the right equipment – If you are going to be cooking on mass, then you need to make sure that you have the right equipment. Things like large stockpots and frying pans, maybe a slow cooker if you like using those will all make it easier for you to do this. Having a good set of knives, and so on will ensure that you can prepare meals more efficiently too. You usually get what you pay for, so buy the best you can afford.

Invest in food storage containers – If you don’t already have them, then ensure to invest in some quality food storage containers of various sizes to suit your needs, as this will make a world of difference. Try to use glass, otherwise if using plastic, make sure it’s BPA-free and ensure it won’t melt in the microwave or dishwasher. However, no plastic is really safe. For easy storage, choose one container type and buy several that stack and store neatly.

At the end of the day, meal prep is done to not only make your life easier, but to maintain health through sound nutrition. By making a small investment in time to pre-prepare your meals, you will have more time to focus on all of the other things required to live a happier, healthier fitter life.

So tell me, do you meal prep and if so what works for you?

Robert

WATCH this post (10min):

LISTEN to this post (10min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:49 — 13.9MB)

December 29, 2017 0 comment

Be The Bigger Person

READ this post (7min):

What is being the bigger person?

Many of us have heard about the notion ‘be the bigger person,’ but what does this really mean? Well it definitely doesn’t mean eating more. Put simply, being the bigger person means to live and interact in the world in a way which better allows us to get along with each other. The result being more peaceful, rewarding and meaningful relationships in our life.

Why is it important to be the bigger person?

If you are not being the bigger person, then chances are that you are experiencing conflict within your relationships to some degree. How many families and friends do you know whom are free of conflict of some sort? Be it the royals, celebrities, or anyone else, most are riddled with drama. Whether it’s a sibling not talking to a parent, this friend not talking to that friend, that partner not talking to their ex, or anything else. And it’s a similar story within workplaces too. The fact that there are so many lonely people within families is a real tragedy.

Apart from the damage this does to relationships, the stress of these interactions can literally suck the energy out of you and rob you of joy in each and every moment. And this is true regardless of the fact that it may have been in the past, if you try not to think about it, or even if you no longer see the person anymore/have removed yourself from the situation. In this way, it is important that you strive to be the bigger person, because doing so allows you to live more in the now and enjoy life, which equates to a happier, healthier, fitter you. It’s simple – the more we get along the less stressed we are.

How can we be the bigger person?

At its core, being the bigger person is largely about compassion and understanding, and there are lots of ways we can do this, but here are a few of the key ones…

Act, don’t React

The key here is to know what ‘pushes your buttons.’ Instead of getting upset with the other person/situation (both of which are powerless without your reaction) and getting drawn into their ‘stuff,’ step back and take a deep breath whilst trying to remain calm. This will prevent your actions following any undesirable thoughts in your head. Remember, rise above instead of sinking down to their level. If you have anything negative to say then instead of reacting don’t say anything at all – instead simply go quite. As you do this, try to just listen and remain curious and by doing so you will better able to connect with the why they are reacting/behaving that way they are/see the situation for what it is. They could just be having a bad day, or it could be something deeper where they are acting from a place of fear. If this is the case then try to have compassion for them. Not only will this make you feel better by not losing your cool and giving your power/energy away, but by not reacting you will also teach them about balance and compassion too. Try to be slow to anger and quick to forgive.

Don’t Personalize Things

We often get hurt when we personalise things such as negative comments or actions from others. And the moment you personalise things, is the moment you react. What we need to realise is that none of these things should ever be taken personally. When you know and live true to who you are, then very little of what people say or do, will affect you. In other words you no longer personalise anything – it’s like ‘Water off a ducks back’. This is partly due to the fact that you are no longer subconsciously seeking their approval and are no longer concerned whether you are liked or not. It’s also due to the fact that as you get to know more about yourself then you also become much more understanding of others too. Ensure to always spend some time each week learning more about your true nature and eventually you will find that being the bigger person will come more naturally to you. The more work we do on ourselves, the more we operate from our heart centre instead of our rational mind, and the more compassionate we become.

Forgive

Forgiveness is something which so many people struggle with, and often because they cannot come to grips with the hurt caused. But the reality is that anyone who has ever done anything to hurt you or your loved ones has done so because they simply know no better. This includes the fact that they have been hurt themselves – hurt people hurt others. You might think that they know better, but if they really did, then they wouldn’t have hurt you in the first place. So regardless of what situation or injustice has happened in your life and how unfair it may seem, you need to let it go. Remember, the reason to forgive, has nothing to do with the other person, but rather is for your own sake. And you can’t get the last 24 hours back let alone the last 10 years so don’t hold onto grudges. So say to the people in your life what you need to because otherwise it may be too late… Never would off, could off, should off – instead forgive them and let go. Forgiving another person doesn’t mean you need to be their friend – you may still dislike them and that’s ok.

We all know people who wouldn’t apologize even if they chopped of your arm and we have to be careful here that we don’t sit in self-righteous resentment instead of forgiveness. This is where we won’t forgive first out of the need to be right, prove a point or because we are scared that the person will not forgive us back. Don’t try and point score – instead be the first to forgive. It takes a big person to forgive someone who has not admitted that they may have done wrong or who hasn’t apologized, but doing so frees you up to live your life by bringing you back into your power. It also helps them get on with their life too. You know you have truly forgiven someone or yourself when you remember it without having bitterness, as well as having a sense a gratitude for having learnt the lessons you have learnt.

Often the hardest person to forgive in life is ourselves. If you have done something to hurt another then stop wasting energy trying to cover your mistakes and instead acknowledge your wrongs and own it. People are generally very forgiving because we all make mistakes and it’s not what you do wrong but rather your unwillingness to deal with it that makes people angry. People don’t have much tolerance with people who refuse to be honest – no one expects you to be perfect!

Don’t judge

Sometimes we are quick to judge others because we focus on what makes us different, including things like our body, job, age, wealth, education or anything else. Instead, we should focus on what makes us similar, like the fact that we all have two eyes, one heart, and we all came from and will eventually return back to the same place when we pass over. As we do this, then those small differences become something to be celebrated, rather than frowned upon. In-fact, it’s what makes the world so interesting. ‘Namaste’ is a Sanskrit word which roughly translates to ‘the God in me sees the god in you.’ Can you look at others and see the God in them? And can you love them the way that God loves you? This has nothing to do with religion.

Another way we can be less judgemental is to remember that everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. In-fact, we are all suffering, some just more so than others. There is always more than meets the eye because everyone has a story, so never judge and assume anything about anyone. By doing so you will find out a lot more about who they are/their situation, instead of just hearing what you want to hear. This also includes not gossiping about others too.

Often the person we judge the most is ourselves, and most of the time we don’t even realise we are doing it. Be mindful of negative self-talk, and stop being so hard on yourself. As long as you are doing your best in everything that you do, you cannot do any more than that.

Being the bigger person is not about doing the easy thing, it’s about doing the right thing. The key is to be intentional about being so – to choose to have peace and harmonious relationships in your life, instead of drama. So think about your own life, and what you need to do to be the bigger person.

Leave a Comment

Q.Is there a situation in your life where you have been the bigger person? I’m sure there are many, I’d like to hear your thoughts.

Merry Christmas

Rob

WATCH this post (13min):

LISTEN to this post (13min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:52 — 18.0MB)

December 15, 2017 4 comments

Blog RECENT POSTS WHAT YOU DO

Get Regular Medical Check-Ups

READ this post (5min):

Anyone who owns a car knows that you need to service it on a regular basis to ensure that it runs smoothly and without problems. Well the same is true for your health too – regardless of your age, regular health check-ups can help find potential health problems before they become more problematic, and help you to live a happier, healthier, fitter life. Prevention is always better than cure.

But what tests should we really be doing? The best answer to this is to see your doctor, as there are various factors which influence what tests they will recommend, dependent mainly upon your age and your potential risk factors including family history. However as a general guide consider the following;

20s RISKS

Instead of waiting until your 50s to see your doctor, it’s important to start regular health check-ups in your 20s to catch danger signs early.

Women:

Melanoma, HPV PAPILLOMAVIRUS (leading cause of cervical cancer), High Cholesterol, Breast Cancer

Men:

Melanoma, Testicular Cancer, High Cholesterol

POSSIBLE TESTS:

Women:

Annual skin check by doctor/dermatologist for signs of skin cancer

Blood Pressure check every doctor visit

Pelvic Exam and Pap Smear annually after age of 25yrs

Cholesterol test every 5 years, starting at age 20

Self Breast Examination (you doctor can teach you how to do this)

General chat about your mental health

Men:

Self-Testicular Exam annually after age 20 (your doctor can teach you how to do this)

Annual skin check by doctor/dermatologist for signs of skin cancer

Cholesterol test every 5 years, starting at age 20.

General chat about your mental health

30s RISKS

Both men and women are at a greater risk for Heart Disease and Type 2 Diabetes after age 30.

Women:

Cervical Cancer, Breast Cancer, Type 2 Diabetes

Men:

Type 2 Diabetes, Melanoma, Testicular Cancer, Colorectal Cancer, Heart Disease

POSSIBLE TESTS:

Women:

Pelvic Exam and Pap Smear annually for cervical abnormalities

Breast Exam annually for women with family history of cancer

Blood sugar test every 5 years/annually if overweight

Annual skin check by doctor/dermatologist for signs of skin cancer

General chat about your mental health

Men:

Blood sugar test every 5 years/annually if overweight

Cholesterol testing every 5 years

Annual testicular exam

Annual skin check by doctor/dermatologist for signs of skin cancer

Screenings for colorectal and prostate cancer if high risk

General chat about your mental health

40s RISKS

The affects of physical aging become more pronounced , and both men and women are at an increased risk of many forms of cancer.

Women:

Heart Disease, Breast Cancer, Ovarian Cancer

Men:

Heart Disease, Colorectal Cancers, Male Cancers including Prostate and Testicular

POSSIBLE TESTS:

Women:

Bone density testing every 3 years if at risk of osteoporosis

Blood sugar testing and cholesterol testing annually to detect/prevent heart disease

Annual mammogram for all women

Ovarian screening for post-menopaused/high risk women every 3 years

Annual skin check by doctor/dermatologist for signs of skin cancer

General chat about your mental health

Men:

Blood sugar test every 3 years

Heart disease screening every 5 years – annually if high risk

Colorectal screening annually

Prostate exam if high risk or experiencing symptoms such as trouble urinating or pelvic pain

Annual skin check by doctor/dermatologist for signs of skin cancer

General chat about your mental health

50s RISKS

Your risk for heart disease, many cancers, stroke and Type 2 diabetes increases exponentially.

Women:

Osteoporosis, Colon Cancer, Ovarian Cancer, Heart Disease, Stroke

Men:

Heart Disease, Prostate Cancer, Colon Cancer, Stroke

POSSIBLE TESTS:

Women:

Bone density testing every 3 years

Ovarian screening every 3 years

Blood sugar testing every 3 years/annually if overweight or at high risk

Colorectal screening every 5 years

Coronary screening annually including EKG

Continued annual skin exams, pelvic exams, pap smears and mammograms

General chat about your mental health

Men:

Prostate cancer screening every 3 years. Annually if high risk

Cholesterol testing annually

Annual skin check by doctor/dermatologist for signs of skin cancer

Colon cancer screening every 3 years. Annually if high risk

Continue testicular exams every 3 years

General chat about your mental health

60s+ RISKS

Your risk of Type 2 Diabetes decreases for both men and women after 60, while the risks for heart disease and many cancers increases sharply.

Women:

Osteoporosis, Colorectal Cancer, Stroke, Heart Disease

Men:

Prostate Cancer, Colon Cancer, Stroke.

POSSIBLE TESTS:

Women:

Colorectal screening every 3 years

Bone density testing every 2-3 years

Colonoscopy screening every 5 years

The following should be continued annually:

Mammogram, Pelvic Exam, Pap Smears at Doctors discretion, Coronary Screening, Skin check

General chat about your mental health

Men:

The following should be done annually:

Cholesterol testing, Coronary screening, Prostate exam, Skin check

Colorectal screening every 3 years

General chat about your mental health

By building a relationship with your doctor, they will better be able to assist you in all aspects of your well-being including your mental health. Your doctor can also refer you to all other allied health professionals for further advice/testing if required. If you are not happy with your doctor or don’t connect then find one which you do connect with.

It’s also a great idea to pencil in an annual time to have a check-up, such as a day before your birthday so that you don’t forget. Obviously if your workplace has in-house regular medical check-ups, then you won’t have to worry about this.

So I’m interested to know, do you get regular medical check-ups, and if not why?

Rob

WATCH this post (9min):

LISTEN to this post (9min):

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:40 — 12.3MB)

November 30, 2017 0 comment