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What does taking responsibility for yourself really mean?
Taking responsibility for yourself means being accountable for everything which is within your power or control. It’s about doing the things you are expected to do and owning the negative or positive outcomes of your thoughts and actions. This includes self-respect, that you respect yourself enough, and that you are truthful with yourself. And most importantly, it’s about realizing that you always have a choice; knowing that different decisions will lead you to different outcomes.
Why is it important to take responsibility for yourself?
Research tells us that out of anything, the biggest determinant of success in life is having strong ‘self-control.’ Taking responsibility for yourself is important because if you don’t, then any problems you may have remain outside of yourself, and with that out of your own control. You are literally giving away your personal power to external forces, rendering you powerless towards positive change.
This is better known as having a ‘victim’ mentality. Victims often have the outlook that life is not up to them but rather that it is just happens ‘around’ or ‘to’ them. They tend to go around in circles doing the same things again even if it doesn’t work. They often complain and blame anyone or anything else other than themselves for their dissatisfaction of life. This could include the economy, the weather, an injury, a past relationship, their parents, their age or anything else in their environment. After all, it’s much easier to play the blame game, than to take responsibility for their own success. This often becomes a habit for most, and so they continue to sit around feeling sorry for themselves and waiting for their life to change instead of engaging in it which is a real waste. And then before they know it, life ends up passing them by.
In contrast, when you take responsibility for yourself, then change not only becomes possible, but inevitable. That’s because when you stand in your own power, you naturally become empowered towards positive change. And with this, new solutions and opportunities begin to arise. In-fact, the moment you accept responsibility for yourself is the same moment you gain the power to change anything in your life.
Sure, sometimes life hands us a lemon, but we can either choose to be bitter about it or choose to ‘make lemonade.’ By make lemonade, I mean that we have to make the most of the situation; we have to find the best way out, the opportunity and the solution in there, as there is always something we can do. And whilst we definitely can’t control everything in life, we can control the way we respond, and this is the key. It is only by taking responsibility for our self, that we can begin to consciously co-create the life that we want, instead of the one that we don’t.
Taking responsibility helps you to attract what you want
When you take responsibility for yourself, then you begin to focus on the things you want and need to do. And once you do, then a remarkable thing starts to happen – you begin to attract more of the things you want and less of the things you don’t. This is the opposite to those who have a victim mentality, who are unconsciously creating what they do not want. This is why it is also important to trust and believe in the magic of life – because the world will provide for you what you want or need, but only once you take responsibility for and begin working towards it.
In saying that, you can’t just sit around and expect things to come to you or for your life to change. Nothing else, or no-one else can make you happy, healthy and fit; you have to do it yourself! Sure let others help you, but at the end of the day the buck stops with you. No one is going to save you – not even God. Instead, you need to take 100% responsibility and initiative for yourself. Stop blaming your circumstances and outside influences on what you are able to change. Remember, if you want results then you can’t have excuses. When you come to a point of awareness you cannot ignore this – with knowledge comes responsibility. The universe is giving you an opportunity to grow. If you know better, then you must rise to the challenge and be better. Taking responsibility for yourself is a very liberating way to live your life, because suddenly you are in control of it – and that is so powerful.
When not to take responsibility
Whilst we can control many things, we cannot control everything. Doing so can make us too self-critical and affect both our self-worth and our self-efficacy. So please, don’t take responsibility for anything out of your control. This includes most things which are outside of yourself. Something that many of us often take responsibility for when we shouldn’t is other people. And it can be hard not too, especially when they are people whom we really love and care about.
I say this because most of us struggle to find the time and energy to manage our own life, let alone being responsible for and worrying about other people’s lives too. Instead, give yourself permission to detach and let others own their own life. By doing so, you will free yourself up to live your own life without feeling drained all of the time.
Obviously the exception to this is if you are a carer for someone who has special needs, is unwell, or if you have younger kids, who are dependent upon your love, support and guidance to thrive and even survive. However this also comes with a cautionary warning too – don’t shelter or try to rescue your kids too much otherwise they will grow up with very little resilience, which is what we are facing a generation off today. Instead give them some responsibility, let them learn and grow from their mistakes and then give them a little more. All you can do is teach them to be responsible for themselves, and then they have to walk and own their own path in life. As they do, they will learn their own lessons because experience is the greatest teacher.
Many people try to avoid responsibility for their bad behaviours by blaming others for causing it. It’s probably a good idea to stay away from people who can’t take responsibility for their own actions. You cannot accept blame or try to fix things for them when you’ve done nothing wrong. They need to learn that if they want different outcomes they will have to make different choices. Eventually they will run out of things or people to blame at which point they will only be able to blame themselves.
It’s all up to you
Remember you cannot blame anything or anyone else for where you are at in life right now. Through your own choices, you are responsible – no-one else. Simply accept and learn from your mistakes and move on with your life. Whilst everything that has happened to you up until now has influenced who you are today, you are responsible for who you will become tomorrow. So whatever it is you want to do – lose weight, become healthier, do your dream job, build wealth, travel, meet a partner, it all starts with taking responsibility for yourself. Each day is a new opportunity to create this for yourself. You can have a victim mentality or a victorious mentality – it’s your choice, but I know which one I choose. As long as you are always trying to better yourself then you can’t go wrong.
What do you need to take responsibility in your life for today, that will help you live a happier, healthier, fitter tomorrow?
Rob
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