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Stay Social

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There are many things we should be doing if we want to live happier, healthier, fitter lives. But the one which is the greatest predictor of health and longevity is staying social. Staying social means;

*Having good relationships in your life – these are relationships with people whom you can count on when the going gets tough. People who you can trust to take you to the doctor if you are sick, or who can just sit with you if you’re in despair. It’s a biological imperative to know we belong and at least three stable relationships is what the research says you need here.

*Having daily social interaction – This means how much you interact with people as you go through your day. This includes not just the people you’re really close to, but also everyone else you talk to. Do you talk to the person who made your coffee, with the postman, with your neighbor? All of these different interactions are an important part of staying social.

Why staying social is important:

*It’s good for your Body:

Research shows that loneliness shortens your life as much as being a regular smoker or alcoholic. If you’re a women with breast cancer, then you are four times more likely to survive if you are not a loner. And did you know that the level of satisfaction you have with your relationships is a better predictor of physical health than your cholesterol level? Your also much more likely to suffer from a heart attack because loneliness weakens the left ventricle of your heart – your really can die of a broken heart. Staying social is not only restorative for your heart, but also bolsters your entire immune system and will literally help to save your life. Women are often much better at staying social than men, and this is a contributing factor to why women in the developed world live an average of six to eight years longer.

*It’s good for your Mind:

Good relationships don’t just protect our body; they protect our brain. Staying social sends feel-good hormones surging through the bloodstream and brain, eliminating much of the emotional and physical pain you would normally experience if you weren’t as social. It leads to less mental deterioration as you age, including better memory functions and less chance of developing dementia. It’s also an important part of overcoming all addictions.

One of the biggest causes of mental health issues is stress – and today more people are feeling stressed out than ever before. One of the most simple ways to reduce stress is by staying social. It doesn’t matter who it is – your friends, work colleagues, your therapist or so on. Having someone to talk to helps to lighten the load and has been shown to significantly reduce stress levels and increase your overall well-being.

*It’s good for your Spirit:

It’s often said that the quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of your relationships, and I couldn’t agree with this more. Everything is better in life and more fun when you have people to share it with- laughter is the pathway to the soul. We all need each other, because if we don’t then we miss out on the greatest things life has to offer – the sharing and receiving of love, encouragement and support from family and friends. Sure, things like having a nice house, car or going on nice holidays can all boost your happiness in the short term, however it’s having great relationships and regular engagement that makes you happy over the long term. At the end of the day, all you really have and all that you can leave behind in this journey we call life, is the people you have met and touched along the way. Staying social is vital to the wellbeing of your spirit – the core essence of who you are.

How social are we?

Despite the enormous benefits of staying social, almost around 50 percent of people living in westernised nations suffer from loneliness. They often feel alone and have no one to talk to, and even more feel as if no one knows them well. It’s hard to believe this is the case given that we live in a world in which we are more connected than ever before.

Barriers to staying social:

The Internet and social media – Studies show that the average person is spending up to 11 hours a day on the internet with much of it being spent on ‘social’ media. However, there is a big difference between interacting on social media as opposed to in person. It’s really important to point this out because it often passes under our conscious radar, which is why we relate online activity with the real thing. Basically, face-to-face contact which includes making eye contact with somebody, shaking hands, giving somebody a high-five is enough to release oxytocin, which increases your level of trust and lowers your cortisol levels, therefore lowering stress. And dopamine is generated, which gives us a little high and it kills pain. It’s like a naturally produced morphine. In-fact, face-to-face engagement releases a whole cascade of neurotransmitters, and like a vaccine, they protect you now in the present and well into the future. Face-to-face interaction also increases your social intelligence and creates a biological force field against disease and decline.

Being too busy – We all live increasingly busy lives these days and it really can be difficult to catch-up with family/friends. Obviously different life stages also affect this, with some stages providing less time for social engagement than others.

Other – Mental health issues either diagnosed or un-diagnosed, fear of putting yourself out there, social awkwardness, poor self-esteem, grief, estrangement of family and friends due to conflict, divorce, substance abuse and so forth. All of these things can and often become barriers to staying social.

How can we be more social?

There are lots of ways we can be more social. Some of these include;

Be fully present – How often do you go anywhere these days only to be surrounded by people glued to their mobile phone screens. Instead, make an effort to be fully present with those around you and engage in conversation. Instead of avoiding eye contact in the lift, make it – you never know who you may meet or what interesting conversation you may strike up.

Moderate your use of technology – The potential for technology to increase intimacy in your life is great, but so is its capacity to diminish it. Think about it – you can skype and send pictures to your loved one from across the world and feel close to them. But at the same time you can lose yourself endlessly looking at this machine, because you may not wish to have a difficult conversation with someone over dinner. So it is important to recognize if your time spent on your computer is increasing or diminishing your social engagement, and in particular that it doesn’t take away from your face-to-face social time. Unfortunately no amount of emoji’s is a substitute for this.

Have regular catch-ups with family and friends – In many regions of the world, such as in Calabria Italy (which is where my family is from), as people age, and indeed across their lifespans, they’re always surrounded by extended family, by friends, by neighbour’s, the grocer and so forth. People are always there or dropping by, and they are never left to live solitary lives. However, here in Australia and other similar countries, we often come home from working long hours and shut ourselves off in our houses. One in three of us live alone, with family and friends often spread over different cities and sometimes with thousands of kilometre’s in-between. If you are fortunate to have family and friends close by, then make an effort to all catch-up more often – maybe the last Sunday of the month or whatever suits.

Get involved with your community – Do you know your neighbour’s? If you don’t then this is the first place you should start – in your street, in your suburb. Also get involved with your community – the local sport club, rotary, an emergency service, a walking group, dance class, school functions, fundraising/other events or anything else. Being part of your community is a great way to be more social.

Be Intentional About it – If you want to have great relationships in your life, then you need to be intentional about doing so. Otherwise, you just drift on by and time passes and you lose contact with those who mean the most to you. We are all busy these days so if your friends don’t instigate a catch-up then you need to take the initiative and do it yourself. If you don’t have many people in your social circle then be proactive and put yourself out there. Websites like meetup and hundreds of others have made it easier than ever before to meet new people in real life with the same interests as you.

Being social includes the non-humankind – There is a reason why it’s said that a dog is a man’s best friend. Whether it’s a dog or any other animal, connecting with them plays a vital role in our overall well-being. In-fact, anyone who has never really connected with an animal before hasn’t really lived.

Connect with yourself first – The ultimate source of connection is with yourself, because once you connect with yourself on a deep level, then you actually realise that you are connected with everyone and everything else that exists. That is to say that you become one with all things. By working on yourself enough you can achieve this, and when you do you will never really feel lonely ever again, and this is so comforting. Without this connection, it is possible to feel alone even if you are in a crowded place.

So if you are not being social enough, then ensure to invest the time and energy into relationships, because we are social creatures at heart. Remember also that no-one wants to be lonely – even if they say they do. Be it a child, aging parents, friends, or the homeless person down the road, if you know anyone who is lonely, then make an effort to visit them – they will appreciate it more than you know.

Q.Are you well connected and engaged in a meaningful way with at least three other people on a regular basis?

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May 19, 2018 0 comment

Meditate

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What is meditation?

Many people think that meditation is about thinking about nothing, but it is not this at all. We cannot block thought and emotion. In-fact we need thought and emotion. Instead, meditation is simply the act of diverting your attention inward, in order to become more aware of, and familiarise yourself with the present moment.

Why is meditation important?

Today, we live in an incredibly busy world, where the pace of life is often frantic. It seems that we are always doing something, to the point where most of us are over-worked, over-loaded, and over-stimulated. The sad fact is that we have become so distracted in the world in which we live, that we miss out on the things that are the most important to us. In-fact, research shows that almost 50% of our life is lost in mindless thought – which directly contributes to unhappiness. What’s even crazier is that we assume that this is the way life is, and that we just have to get on with it.

In essence we have forgotten to be still, and the absence of stillness has led to increased stress and anxiety. In-fact, around 17 million Australians admit that stress is affecting both their physical and mental health.

But rather than distracting ourselves from stress, what we need most is to bring the very essence of who we are back into our lives – stillness. Just as the body needs rest, so too does the mind – especially when you consider that we have about 60,000 thoughts each day – 80% of which are negative and 95% are not original. Your mind becomes like a washing machine, whizzing around lots of difficult, confusing emotions, which we often don’t know how to deal with it.

Meditation enables you to slow down your mind enough to help you return to that place of stillness that exists between your thoughts. A place which is available to all of us in the present moment.

You cannot have happiness until you have inner peace. You cannot have inner peace until you live in the present. You cannot live in the present until you remember who you are. You cannot remember who you are until you go within and mediate. Robert Greco

Every time you connect to this place of stillness within, you become more conscious and aware of what is real and what is not in each moment. In this way, meditation acts as a doorway to who you really are. This is essential, because knowing yourself affects everything you think, say and do in life. Knowing yourself is the not only the key to both preventing and managing stress and anxiety, but is also the secret to lasting peace and happiness.

What are the different types of Meditation?

There are 3 main types/categories of meditation:

1.Focused Attention or concentration techniques (e.g. Zen, Qi gong, Vipassana) is where you focus on a single word, thought or object, excluding all others. It may be your breath, a word, a mantra, sound, a movement, pattern or an inner or external image. The purpose is simply to better develop your sense of concentration. That way, when thoughts or emotions arise, you are able to direct your mind back to the original object of concentration. This type of meditation requires effort to sustain controlled attention on an object, and is characterised by high frequency activity in the front and core of the brain.

2.Open Monitoring includes mindfulness-based techniques, in which all experiences are allowed to pass through awareness without manipulation or control, otherwise known as non-judgemental moment-to-moment awareness. The mind is generally being trained to return to the present moment by using an object, breath, or body as an anchor. This allows us to become aware of negative thought patterns, enabling us to make conscious choices rather than being mindlessly controlled by them, and preventing us from being led into habitual negative behaviours. These techniques also help us to embrace whatever our current experience is (including emotional or physical pain) rather than trying to escape or get into a struggle and thereby amplify it. This type of meditation is characterised by theta activity primarily in the front of the brain.

3.Automatic Self-Transcending (AST) involves neither concentration nor training the mind. ‘Automatic’ means innocence is the key here. Evaluation, control or manipulation will leave you caught up in thinking and prevent transcending. ‘AST’ includes Transcendental Meditation (TM), and the occasional expert in other techniques. It describes any technique which transcends (goes beyond) the steps of the meditation practice itself. Typically this includes resting your attention on a mellow, meaning-free one or two syllable mantra or sound in an effortless way that allows the mantra to gradually melt like a cough drop, leaving a state of inner silence. Whilst this may seem much like a focused attention practice, the method is actually more subtle and easy going than that.

Alpha brain waves (characteristic of reduced mental activity and relaxation) permeate the whole brain, which receives more oxygen. Increased blood flow occurs at the front of the brain (which is coordinating activity) while the core is more quiet, indicating alertness in the midst of deep rest, the state of transcendental or pure consciousness/silence.

Which type of Meditation is best?

Which type of meditation is best depends upon what you want to achieve and more importantly how ‘aware’ you are. As a recommendation, if you are a beginner to meditation, then I would suggest that you start with some basic concentration and mindfulness techniques. Then once you have been meditating for some time and made some progress in becoming more mindful, then I would encourage you to try TM.

Regardless of what type of meditation you choose, I would encourage you to complement your practice with yoga. This is important because many of the emotional and behavioural responses we experience occur because of previous stress which has become trapped inside of our body’s cells as distorted memories. And so no matter how much we mediate, we can only often get so far. However, by including the regular practice of yoga – both physical postures (asanas) and breathing techniques (pranayama), we can better respond to the actual demand being placed upon us in the present moment, rather than being forced into reactions pre-fabricated by our stress. In other words, full present moment awareness is actually the gift of a stress free nervous system, not just a present mind.

How do we meditate?

As suggested above, there are many different types of meditation, however one of the most simple and best places to start is to simply become aware of your breathe. Here’s how:

Sit comfortably on a chair with your back straight and unstrained in any way. Have your feet uncrossed and anchored on the floor. Place your hands on your lap in a palms up position, or whatever way you find comfortable. You can close your eyes or not – however you feel most at ease, but if your beginning with meditation, closing your eyes will help you to remain more focused.

Now just focus your attention on the feeling of your breathe coming in and going out.

Observe your breath as it goes in and out through your nostrils. Don’t try to change your breathe in any way, just observe it. As you do this you will find that it begins to slow down.

See if you can just feel one breathe, without concern for it has already gone by, without leaning forward for the very next breathe – just this one.

Now just tell yourself, let my mind become one with my breath, and continue to focus on one breathe at a time. Do this for a few minutes.

As you do this, you may have images, sounds, or emotions which arise as your mind begins to wander all over the place – what am I going to cook for dinner, did I pay the bills, etc. And that is fine – just try to stay connected to the feeling of the breath, as much as you can by just letting any thoughts flow on by. And if something comes along that is really strong and pulls you away from your breath, you might get lost in thought or even fall asleep, then don’t worry about it – just let it go.

The most important moment in the whole process is the next moment – after you have been distracted. That is the place that we practice letting go. It’s often referred to as exercising the letting go muscle. We practice letting go gently, of whatever has taken us away. And we bring our attention back to the breath to begin again.

The whole training is letting go and beginning again. You don’t have to feel like you have failed or done something wrong. It’s the conditioned habit of our attention to get distracted. So each time we discover that, we have this amazing opportunity to let go and to start over. It’s just one breathe.

Once you have done this for a few minutes, or when you feel ready, you can open your eyes or lift your gaze.

Once you get good at being aware of 1 breath, then begin to notice 2 and 3 and 4 breathes. If you can do this then you can meditate everywhere, anytime.

How long and how often should I meditate?

There are no rules on how often you should meditate, however 5-10 minutes per day is a good starting point. On top of having a structured practice, I would also suggest that you practice mindfulness as part of your everyday life, including things like mindful eating.

Remember that each time you meditate, you become more and more connected to the present and to who you really are. And so if you do this enough, then eventually, you will reach a point where you achieve full self-actualization/transcendence which is really the ultimate goal of all meditation. If and when this occurs, peace, clarity and stillness become your natural state of being, meaning that there is no longer any reason to meditate unless you want to of course.

Whilst bringing meditation into our daily life is not always easy to begin with, the rewards that follow far outweigh the sacrifice. By simply taking a few minutes out of your day to familiarising yourself with the present moment, you will become more in tune with who you are and with it, experience a greater sense of clarity, peace and wellbeing in your life.

So I’m curious to know, what are your experiences with meditation? Leave a comment below.

Rob

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April 7, 2018 2 comments

Do Regular Exercise

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Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it. Plato

Metabolically, we are hunters and gatherers, with approximately 700 working muscles functioning in sync to move just over 200 bones on your frame. Your body was engineered to be an action machine. It is meant to jump, run, twist, push and pull. And this is why it is crucial that we move it in order to stay in top shape. In-fact, doctors have admitted that they know of no invented drug that can create the same health benefits than regular exercise can – without it, your body literally begins to shut down and your organs fail to function properly.

But the reality is that very of us are exercising, and this is a massive contributing factor to why two thirds of our nation is overweight or obese.

There are 2 main ways to get your daily dose of exercise:

1.Incidental Exercise: is anything that you do on a day to day basis that’s generally part of your life. This may include things like cleaning, walking to work and gardening. The less incidental exercise that you do, the more structured exercise you should be doing to compensate. Incidental activity alone is never usually enough to maintain peak fitness unless you are a lumberjack, so it is always advisable to incorporate regular structured exercise into your weekly routine.

2.Structured Exercise: is exercise which you deliberately structure into your day. It often includes activities like playing sport, having a set time to go walking or going to the gym to do a workout. When it comes to planning your structured exercise, be sure to incorporate these 3 key components;

*Aerobic: Look at this is as endurance training for your heart. Its purpose is to increase your cardiovascular fitness, meaning you can do more work with feeling less puffed. Some examples include brisk walking or jogging, swimming, rowing and cycling. In general you should be performing at least 20 minutes or more of aerobic activity most days of the week.

*Strength: This is any weight-bearing activity where you overload your muscles to increase in strength and often size. The most important thing about strength training is that it prevents the natural loss of muscle mass as you age. The result being that you turn your body into a raging inferno, meaning you increase your metabolism so that you burn more calories than you normally would and even whilst you’re asleep.

Core stability is also a very important component of strength training and this means being able to maintain proper alignment during life activities. With a strong core you build the foundation for a strong, fit and lean body.

One of the most simple and best forms of strength training is body weight training — including functional exercises such as squats, push-ups, planking, lunges, chin-ups and dips. Strength training should be done two to three times per week for about 30 minutes and on non-consecutive days for adequate recovery between sessions.

*Flexibility: This includes stretching your muscles and joints, to allow you to stretch through a greater range of motion. This is important to for increased blood flow and tone in your muscles, better sleep, better posture, less aches and pains and less chance of having an injury. Flexibility is improved through regular stretching or by doing activities like yoga and dance which I strongly encourage. Aim to do a stretch at least five minutes each day, if not longer on most days of the week.

A combination of all 3 is best:

In combination, all 3 forms of exercise offer numerous benefits including a faster metabolism, less inflammation, better adherence to other positive lifestyle behaviours like clean eating, improved organ function and so much more. All of this translates to not only a thinner you, but also the prevention of conditions such as cardiovascular disease, type II diabetes, insulin resistance, cancer, depression and lower back pain. Exercise also reduces the effects of ageing and assists you to look and feel your best. It’s also great for social interaction as well as being an effective stress-management practice. Just a few minutes each day can release enough endorphins to instantly make you feel better.

Here are some of my other tips around exercise:

*The best exercise is the one you love and will stick with.

*Choose an exercise which you have easy access too (geographic location and cost are often overlooked).

*Vary your routine to maintain interest and keep your muscles guessing. E.g. a run around the block this week, and then go for a ride next week at the same time. This/cross training also helps you to minimize your chance of injury.

*If you sit at work, ensure to only sit for 20minutes at a time, then stand for 8minutes then stretch for 2minutes.

*Exercise outdoors as often as possible – there are many great benefits of doing so.

*Exercise in the morning and get it out of the way.

*Taking action will inspire action – it’s hard at the start but it will get easier.

*Aim to get fit/strong, not to lose weight. Weight loss and other benefits come naturally when you do so.

*Set some goals. E.g. 30 push-ups, 60sec plank, 10 chin-ups, 60sec wall sit, 5klm Run in under 30 minutes, etc.

*Avoid exercising if you are exhausted – this can lead to adrenal fatigue. Instead spend that time sleeping.

*Listen to your body – it knows best. If your back pain goes, if you feel more energy, if you move better, then great.

*Don’t let injuries become an excuse. E.g. if you have an injured shoulder then work your legs/abs – don’t give up.

*If you have any injuries – past or present, then ensure to seek assistance from a professional who can help.

*Seek the advice of a fitness professional – this information in this post is general advice only.

*Always get your doctor’s approval before starting any exercise program.

*If all of this sounds like too much then just focus on moving more. If your struggling to find the time, then aim to do 2-3, 5-10 minute workouts per week – it’s better than not exercising at all!

So tell me, what is your favourite and least favourite type of exercise and why?

Robert

October 19, 2017 2 comments